Lisa's Story

SEX — it was definitely something I was looking forward to. As I started to date, I knew I needed to set some boundaries in my relationships because of my desire to be sexually intimate. So I mentally set up my boundaries and made a commitment to myself that I wanted to wait until marriage, knowing it would be worth waiting for. I then decided to write out a list of all the qualities I desired in a mate. I would refer back to that list many times, reminding myself that when I found the right person, he would be worth waiting for. My decision was not an easy one. It was challenging to remain focused on the goal I had set for myself. However, I knew that if I wasn’t sexually active, I’d never have to worry about an unplanned pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases or not being able to pursue my life goals. I also thought about how those concerns could affect my relationship with my future husband and my children.

I met my husband when I was a freshman in college. We got acquainted as friends and eventually started dating. I remember the day when I realized that he was the man I wanted to marry. By then, we knew each other very well, having spent a lot of time talking and doing activities we both enjoyed. We had really become best friends. I realized that the closeness of our relationship wouldn’t have been possible if we had allowed sex to become a part of it. Throughout our time of dating, I had to keep reminding myself of the benefits of abstinence. Thankfully, my husband had the same commitment, so we were able to help each other. It definitely wasn’t easy, but it was the right decision.

Our wedding night was so special because we were both able to give each other the very best wedding gift- the gift of ourselves. We now have a lifetime to enjoy great sex! I love the fact that I can feel secure with my husband, knowing that we neither one have anyone else to compare each other with. I am so glad I made the decision to remain abstinent until marriage- it is a decision I will never regret. In so many ways I believe that decision has contributed to the wonderful relationship my husband and I enjoy today, one which we started back in college. We have built our relationship around commitment and friendship, and I know that would not have been possible had we been sexually active prior to our marriage.